Joe's Birthday Gift
by WannaBeBabe
Summary: It's Joe Morelli's birthday. A night out with the guys turns out far differently than he thought it would after he receives a gift that he can't refuse. **Not cupcake friendly**


****Author's notes…So I saw it was Morelli's birthday today and decided to write him a story since we got another half foot of snow and I don't feel like shoveling out to go anywhere. Anyway, this was going to be a cupcake story with some Joe and Steph loving and all that, but for some reason I just couldn't do it. Somehow it turned into, well, something else altogether. If you want to know what happens I guess you'll have to read it. No spoilers, warnings for dirty language and actions, and disclaimer that all this belongs to JE. Hope you enjoy.****

Joe Morelli shoved his big, furry dog back into the house when he saw Big Dog's SUV turn the corner. Costanza was riding shotgun and had a huge smile on his face when they pulled to a stop in front of his row house. Joe climbed into the backseat with Gazzara and they were off.

"I can't believe I agreed to do this. If Shirley finds out I'll never hear the end of it," Eddie told him.

Joe couldn't believe he agreed to this either. "Same here, Steph would have my nuts in a vise."

"Stop complaining back there. How the hell will the women find out? It's not like they go to places like this," Big Dog bitched at them.

"Yeah, man, you only turn forty once," Costanza agreed. "I think it needs to be done in style."

"Style?" Gazzara asked. "That's one word I wouldn't use for this place."

"Come on, it's real classy compared to the other joints around," Costanza assured them. "It's so nice Steph was in there once. I had to pull my hat over my face so she wouldn't recognize me."

Joe laughed, "Why would Steph be in a strip club?"

"I don't know. Looked like her and Manoso were watching the show," he said with a little laugh.

Joe sighed, he knew Steph wouldn't enjoy a show at a strip club. He figured she must have been working on something if she was there with Manoso. The other man was a pain in his ass and wanted to sleep with Steph sure, but he didn't see him just bringing her to a strip club to hang out. Even he had to admit Manoso had more class than that.

"Maybe we should have brought her along. Maybe she could learn a few things from the dancers," Big Dog laughed.

"She doesn't need to learn anything," Joe mumbled. "Why did I even agree to this? I could be home eating cake with her right now."

"I don't know. I would have stayed home if I were you," Gazzara said. "Steph eating cake is hot. All that moaning and licking of the frosting. That's better than porn."

Joe punched him in the shoulder. "Stop thinking about her."

When they pulled into the lot Joe could hear the music pounding through the walls. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He was entirely too old to be doing this shit. He wished Steph was there, she'd have ibuprofen in her purse. He had a feeling he was going to need it.

They guys paid their cover charge and walked into the dimly lit room. Almost immediately one of the girls was on them. She was a skinny, red head with giant fake breasts and not much of an ass. Not really Joe's type, but Carl seemed thrilled with the attention. "Hey Carl," she purred at him. "I have your table reserved."

"Thanks, Kiki, you're the best," he told her with a little smile. "You'll remember to take good care of my man here. It's his birthday tonight."

Joe felt the stripper's eyes move over his body before she slipped an arm around him. "Come on, Birthday Boy," she whispered in his ear.

He allowed her to pull him to a table dead center in front of the stage. He was given the middle seat, directly in front of the pole. He figured it must have been the best seat in the house, especially after Carl slipped the girl some bills.

Another girl came to take their drink orders. The first round was on Big Dog so Joe ordered a Johnny Walker Blue neat. It was a forty dollar glass of booze, but he figured these idiots deserved to pay out after talking him into this shit.

After nearly an hour, watching girls come and go from the stage Joe was ready to leave. He didn't know when random boobs and young pretty faces stopped doing it for him, but there he was feeling all his forty years while he watched girls young enough to be his daughter take their clothes off. He wondered if this was the low point in his life. How did it get any worse than this?

"I just wanted to take a minute and wish a very special birthday to a very sexy man." Joe rolled his eyes as he looked up at the stage to see which one of the girls was speaking into the microphone. This one didn't look like the others. This one was tall and curvy with long, brown hair that fell to her waist in soft waves. She was wearing a lacy black bra with matching thongs and garter belt that held up black thigh highs. Her legs were amazing. His eyes followed them from the edge of her lacy panties down to her four inch black high heels. He felt his dick twitch. Fuck.

The woman bent and looked him in the face. She had the most startling blue eyes and perfect porcelain skin. She bent her finger and motioned for him to come to her. Christ, he couldn't go up on that stage. Everyone would see his hardon. He shook his head no. He couldn't do it.

"Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe," Carl started chanting until the entire bar was yelling along with him. Crap.

He stood and waved his hands to his fellow patrons and headed for the stairs to the right of their table. He stepped onto the stage next to the woman. She turned into his body and wrapped a leg around his waist. It wasn't difficult, with those heels on they were the same height. "Hey, baby," she whispered to him. "Relax, we're just going to have some fun." He nodded to her.

"So Joe, are you married?" she asked into the microphone. He shook his head no. "Why not? A sexy man like you must have someone special." He just smiled at her as she rubbed her hand up and down his chest suggestively. "Would you like me to be your someone special?" she purred into his ear. God help him, but he did. He nodded back to her.

He didn't know what was wrong with him. He should have told her that he had someone special at home, probably in his bed right now waiting for him to come home, but all he could think about was this exquisite creature wrapped around his body.

"Good boy," she told him as she pulled a chair to the center of the stage. "Sit." He obeyed better than his dog ever did at the same command. "Do you know the rules, Joe?" He shook his head no. She smiled and pulled out some furry handcuffs. She looped them through a rung in the back of the chair, then pulled his hands behind his back and cuffs him there. He didn't like not being in control. He never let Steph have power like this, but this was getting him hot. This woman was confident and sexy as hell. He wouldn't mind being tied down to her bed.

"You can't touch, but that won't be a problem anymore," she said with a laugh. "I, however, can do anything I want to you." He swallowed hard and licked his lips as she moved toward him until she was standing between his spread knees. "Do you want me to take my bra off?"

He heard the guys start chanting, "Take it off. Take it off." Christ, he had almost forgotten that they had an audience he wanted her so badly. He shook his head yes and tried to remember it was all a game.

Her bra clasped in the front and with one hand she flipped it open. Her other hand moved over her stomach up to her half bare breast. Joe's eyes were firmly focused on her tits, they were amazing. Her perfect, pink tipped breasts spilled out as she pushed the material aside and let it drop off her shoulders onto the floor.

She moved in then until his face was pressed between her breasts. She shook them back and forth so they slapped his cheeks. Christ, he just wanted to grab two handfuls of her ass and pull her in so he could motorboat her properly. "Do you like my tits, Joe?" she asked. "Would you like a taste?"

The crowd screamed as she twisted and placed her nipple to his lips. He wasn't going to refuse that offer. He sucked it in and nibbled on the hardened peak. She made some little moaning noises as her fingers clawed at his hair. "You have a wicked mouth," she sighed. "What else can you do with that mouth?" There was more hooting and howling from the crowd. She just laughed and turned to the crowd. "Should we dance?"

"Dance. Dance. Dance," the crowd cheered loudly. The lighting changed and the music started. It was something slow with a deep base drop.

She stood facing the crowd grinding her hips to the beat while her hands moved her perfect body. Joe watched from behind and wasn't disappointed with the view. She may have had the best ass he'd ever seen. Then she grasped the sides of her panties and bent from the waist as she pulled them off, revealing a whole lot more than ass to him.

God, he was so hard it was starting to hurt. She turned back to him then before she started to stalk toward him. She crawled onto his lap, straddling his thighs until her body was pressed firmly to his. He could feel the damp, heat of her sex through his pants as she ground against his hard cock. Fuck, he was going to cum in his pants if he wasn't careful. He'd never felt anything like this before. There was something happening between them, he could tell. This was more than a show.

She found a rhythm, moving her clit against him until she was moaning and panting. Her lips found his neck, sucking the skin into her mouth as she continued to dry hump him. He pulled at the fucking cuffs, he wanted to touch her. He wanted to put his lips on her. He wanted to taste her. God, he wanted her bad.

Then she suddenly shuddered and screamed his name as she came against him. Holy shit. Then she kissed him, deep and hard. His tongue joined hers, dueling for control of the kiss. Her hands moved between them stroking his cock. Good God. He was just about to cum when she stood and turned her back to him. "Sorry, Joe, I can't give you a happy ending for your birthday," she laughed. "That's illegal here." The crowd loved that, they were cheering and clapping.

Joe's eyes were still focused on her damp thighs, she really had gotten off on him. He looked down at his lap and saw the wet spot on the front of his jeans. He knew that wasn't his work, he was still hard and it looked like he'd be going home blue balled.

The girl moved behind him and unhooked his arms from the cuffs. She leaned in and whispered in his ear, "I have a black Trans Am in the parking lot if you want to finish this."

"I'm a cop," he whispered back.

"I wasn't going to charge, detective," she laughed back.

He stood and adjusted his hardon to the laughter of the crowd. He bowed and shook his head before heading back to the table. "Shit, that was hot," Costanza said holding up a hand to high five him.

"Did you guys pay for that?" Joe asked as he high fived the three other men.

"Not me," Gazzara laughed. "Steph would kill me."

"Me either," Big Dog told him. "You broke me with that fuckin shot you ordered."

"Hey, I never even seen anything like that before. I was just gonna get you a lap dance," Costanza agreed with the others.

Joe's eyes moved around the room, looking for the stripper. He had a few questions for her. As his eyes moved around the room he caught the familiar glare of his girlfriend. She stood on the other side of the room with her hands on her hips. "Oh fuck," he muttered.

As she slowly walked toward him he felt his boner shrivel, she was going to kill him. She smiled at the guys before looking back at Joe. "Happy Birthday, Morelli," she said in a cold voice. "Wash the stripper juice off yourself before you come over to apologize." Joe swallowed hard. He expected worse than that. "And I'm eating your cake."

With that she turned and left the bar with Lula on her heels. "Holy shit," Costanza laughed. "She didn't take that too badly."

Joe shivered. He knew if she was that calm and icy things were worse than the guys could imagine. Calm was ten times worse than screaming when it came to Steph. His hopes of fucking of the stripper's image away with Steph disappeared. He was looking at a long dry spell. Some birthday this turned out to be, now he wasn't even going to have cake…unless.

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Christine, stage name China, walked off the stage and headed toward the dressing room. She wasn't sure why the man in black had paid her so well to give that cop a show. The guy was hot, he didn't need a stripper dry humping him to get him off. Women would probably pay him for sex. She herself wasn't joking when she offered to meet him outside. It wasn't often that she got turned on by a customer, much less actually got off on playing with one.

She looked at the thousand dollars of cash and grinned. She'd get herself off on a hot guy for money any day. That was nothing but a win-win situation.

She changed into her mini skirt and tee shirt and headed outside. She was surprised to find the detective leaning against the side of her car, but she was most certainly not disappointed.

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Stephanie had gone down to the damn strip club to pick up the bouncer who skip out on his bail. She and her partner Lula paid admission and stood toward the back of the room. It wasn't long before she saw Morelli and his friends near the stage.

"Asshole," she muttered to Lula.

Lula's eyes narrowed as she saw him. "I thought he had to work?"

"That's what he told me."

A few minutes later a really pretty brunette invited him on stage. She stood there for twenty minutes watching her boyfriend get felt up and rubbed on by some naked stripper. He sucked her nipples and kissed her with tongue and she was pretty sure the skank came all over him.

God, didn't he know what kind of women these were? She probably had herpes or something and there he was ready to fuck her, in front of a crowd of strangers. She felt like she was going to barf.

"Let's get out of here," Lula told her.

"No," she growled. "I have to wish Joe a happy birthday first."

She glared at him until his eyes were drawn to her. She could see the "oh fuck" look on his face from across the room. She stomped over to him and glared him down. He looked scared. He should be scared, she thought as she took a breath to control her rage.

She smiled at the guys, it was her warning to them that they were in trouble too. She'd tell their wives about this. "Happy Birthday, Morelli," she said. He looked visibly paler, he really was scared. Good. "Wash the stripper juice off yourself before you come over to apologize."

He didn't respond, he just sat there looking like a naughty child that got caught red handed. She wanted to yell and scream and hit him in the face, but he wasn't going to get the satisfaction of seeing her anger. She was sick of his shit. This was it, if he couldn't change it was over for good. She knew she had to escape before she said something that she'd regret so she turned to leave. "And I'm eating your cake," she added as an afterthought. He didn't deserve cake, stripper fucking prick.

She stomped off to the front door with Lula on her heels. She followed Lula to her car and let out a loud growl. "You sure you don't want to kick his ass?" Lula asked. "You look like you need to let off a little steam."

"No, I can't see anymore of him tonight, especially when he's covered in her gunk." Lula just nodded her understanding. "I'll just eat the cake and figure out how to get even or something."

Lula laughed at that. "I know how you can get even and blow off a little steam."

"Don't even say it," Steph groaned. "I don't need anyone else knowing about my humiliation, especially him."

"Babe." How did the man do that as if on cue? It was just like thinking one indecent thought about him made him appear.

"What are you doing here?"

"Entertaining a potential client," he said with a smile. "You?"

"Bouncer went FTA." He looked back over at his guys standing by the SUV. "You want them to drag him out for you?"

"Sure," she shrugged. She didn't really want to come back here, ever. He did a little wave of his hand and his men went back into the bar and dragged him out, cuffed. "So…" she asked. He lifted an eyebrow at her as he waited for her to continue. "So you feel like coming over for some cake?"

He smiled at her then. "You know I don't eat cake."

"I'm sure I could find something that'd interest you," she responded. She wasn't sure where that had come from. She wasn't usually so suggestive with him, but it seemed she was in the mood to play with fire tonight.

He slipped an arm around her and headed over to his Porsche. Steph smiled to herself as she leaned back in the seat. She definitely knew how to get even.

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Ranger slipped through the backdoor after he watched China's on stage performance. Fucking Morelli was such a chump. He couldn't believe he went as far as he did on that stage. Joe had gotten a lot more physical than he imagined. Shit, he looked like he was going to jizz in his pants right there a few times.

His only intention had been to humiliate him and get him into a little trouble. He didn't mean for Stephanie to see all that she did. He hoped it wouldn't hurt her. He really didn't want her hurt, even at the expense of her relationship with the other man.

He saw Steph charge out the front door and waited for steam to shoot out of her ears. She looked pissed. He knew he shouldn't eavesdrop on her and Lula, but he couldn't help himself. She was like a sickness, he just wanted her so badly.

As soon as he heard her mention getting even he knew he had to make his move. He was an opportunist and a bigger opportunity would never present itself.

"Don't even say it," Steph groaned. "I don't need anyone else knowing about my humiliation, especially him."

He knew they were talking about him and it made him laugh, silently. Of course her first response would be to want to sleep with someone else and he was always happy to be that someone else. "Babe," he said. He could see her tense before she turned around to face him. God, she was beautiful. Her eyes were big and blue, her hair long and curly, her body soft and curvy, everything he could ever want in a lover. She was perfection.

"What are you doing here?" she asked like she couldn't believe he just showed up, again.

"Entertaining a potential client," he said with a smile. She didn't need to know that he came to keep an eye on her. He heard that she was picking up a FTA and that he was dangerous. Seeing Morelli and the other cops had just been a bonus. "You?"

"Bouncer went FTA." He looked back over at his guys standing by the SUV. They already planned to assist in the capture anyway. "You want them to drag him out for you?"

"Sure," she shrugged.

He signaled his men and they did their thing. Minutes later they pulled him out the door.

"So…" she asked. He lifted an eyebrow at her as he waited for her to continue. "So you feel like coming over for some cake?"

He smiled at that and couldn't help but tease her. "You know I don't eat cake."

She surprised the hell out of him when she said, "I'm sure I could find something that'd interest you." He knew exactly what he'd like to eat. He was a pie man and Plum pie happened to be his favorite.

No other words were needed. He slipped an arm around her and head over to his Porsche. He settled her into the seat and smiled to him. Best thousand bucks he ever spent.


End file.
